Self Care

Note to reader:
I know this is scary and not only do you doubt yourself, you may wonder: well what if I do become too successful? What if the people I love the most don’t like it? What if I outgrow the people whom I’m closest to? Or things change way too much way too fast? These are all common and unnecessary intrusive thoughts! What if maybe just maybe you inspire those around you! What if the people around you, love you so much that they are actually super supportive of your success! Success which by the way means having many resources. Imagine in how many ways that would impact them positively! 

When starting your journey you will have to overcome your limiting beliefs by reminding yourself every second of everyday to chose a different thought. But the great news is that with practice it will become second nature to you! Before you know it, you will have adopted a more positive growth mindset!
So yes it is scary but I promise it is worth it. The growth you achieve will make you so proud and remember no one can take an experience away from you. Please keep that in mind. So let’s get started!

1. Notice people you admire
Start paying close attention to people you admire. Who are they, what are their values? What lifestyle do they have, and what exactly attracts you to it? Is it their career, style, personality? Notice within yourself what calls you about them. What aspect of them, their habits, or their life would you want for yourself? Would you want to be more free in the way you dress? Would you like to be more fearless in pursing things you’re passionate about? Would you like to have a more fit body or be more outgoing? Do you admire the way they speak or bravely constantly post online? Sometimes we are drawn to people for a reason. 

Maybe it has to do with getting closer to your purpose or closer to a more authentic version of yourself. Maybe the universe is giving you hint about your future self and how some aspect of this person’s life is or has something to do with your future life. Whatever you are being drawn to I would highly suggest exploring it.

2. Trace your steps
Is there anything you always wanted to try but were too scared to? What was it? What exactly scared you about it? Is it a reasonable fear or a mental one? Do you really want to die without trying it? If the answer is no then it might be worth a shot. I don’t know who has to read this but it’s NEVER too late. 

When was the last time you felt aligned? When was the last time you felt alive?? What were you doing and where and with who? Write all these things down, maybe even journal about them so you can reference later. When was the last time you were excited about your life? What were you doing then? What was sparking your joy then? What was inspiring you or who or what habits? Write down as much detail as you can remember. What was easy about life? What was working for you? Who were you being? This can be in regards to anything in your life it can be as simple as your hair or style or routine.

 I remember the first time I signed up for the gym because my friend practically forced me so I could join her; I started working with a trainer (a friend helping me for free, bless his soul) I felt so extremely confident for that period of my life. Maybe it was my newly super toned body or the fact that I was attending a gym for the first time in my life but I just remember feeling such confidence in my in body in my own skin. That led to an immense belief in myself. 

Another thing  that had worked for me tremendously is cutting my hair off. Going from long hair to a super short (jawline short) bob cut is just so liberating and exhilarating at the same time . And having the courage to think it’s just hair and it will grow back is incredible powerful for me. Now I’m not saying go chop off your hair lol unless you’ve been wanting too of course!

3. What did you love doing as a kid?
What were your talents as a kid? Were you one of those cool kids in a sports team? How was that experience for you? Did you love it? Were you in dance classes? What would it feel like to join maybe a hip hop class once or twice a week? Imagine what that would do for your inner child! Did you love coloring or painting?? You can join a paint class or even just get your self an adult coloring book from amazon and just sit and color and see what that does for you. Notice what comes up and how you feel. Take note if maybe it might be worth reintegrating into your life! 

I understand not everyone was an outgoing child with talents. I wasn’t for sure. I think I was constantly feeling scared. I didn’t join sports and picking up hobbies is not something I was taught at home. But something I always loved as a kid was having super cute journals, cute stationary things, coloring, I always loved to read it made me feel smart. I also went through a phase of wigs lol it was so fun because I can become a different person by changing my hair. It was silly but very endearing to remember. 

On the other hand unfortunately sometimes people did have talents and habits that they had to abandon because life got too serious or for whatever  reason. If this is you maybe now is the time re-explore what brought you joy!

4. Try new things!
This is an exciting thing to do! Getting to know the new you, rediscover who you were or would be without social validation from your peers. This is a magical moment in your life so please treat it as such. Coming back to yourself or recreating yourself is honoring yourself but also taking charge of your life! Make it special you are so worthy! This is a great opportunity for change so please go crazy(responsibly)
change your style, hair, job, career, city, state, boyfriend, girlfriend. 

Get creative and brutally honest with yourself. Ask your self, in a perfect world who would I want to be, do, have, look like… fill in the blank. This is also a great time for you to take inventory of the people in you life. Do they cheer you on or do you have to walk on egg shells around them? Are you excited to share good new with them or are you hesitant? Do they align with the life you want to create? Do they respect your boundaries? And if you don’t have boundaries in place now is a great time to create them!! This is tricky because if you have had a friend for 10 plus years but they want to party every weekend. And your all time dream is to commit to your gym body and start a pod cast about it, you will have to make a decision. And I need you to know it is perfectly ok to out grow people! You don’t have to feel bad and it doesn’t have to be a horrible thing. Maybe they too will find friends that have the same hobbies! 

This is about you creating this new authentic you. This is your moment to be extremely selfish. So be brave and be bold! Sign up for classes, meet new people, make new friends with similar interest or people that inspire you! Sign up for anything that sparks your interest or anything random even better! Put yourself out there and watch what amazing magical things start to unfold for you!

5. Challenge your old self!
If there is anything you “would never do” like be the first to volunteer in a group activity or go watch a movie alone; DO IT !!!!!! Not only are you creating a new version of yourself but you will also gain so much confidence by getting out of your comfort zone !!! I’ve done sales for years and one thing I learned is to get out of my comfort zone and be totally fine with getting rejected over and over and over lol. Challenge your old self every chance you get if she couldn’t commit to the gym, commit to the gym. Hire a trainer if you need too! 

If she was an introvert (don’t believe in labels but some people like them) talk to strangers, smile at them! This is another great way of boosting your confidence by the way. Do things you are scared to do!!! This could be anything from getting on a roller coaster to starting that social media page you’ve be thinking about starting. Going back to school or quitting your job you hate are other examples. Some fears are of course valid but most fears we create in our heads and if you think your future self would be proud of you overcoming said fear take that as a sign! Lastly, love yourself more than ever before and give yourself grace!

Finally:

Who do you want to be ? Who have you dreamt of being? If you can start over where no one knows you who would you be? What kind of life would you live? Where would you live, be specific city/state, condo, house? What would your hobbies be? What routines would you have if any? What would you do for a living or for a passion project? How would you speak? How would you carry yourself? How would you dress? What would your diet be? What kind of friends would you have? What kind of partner would you have? What would your relationships be like? What would your day to day look like? What would you value and prioritize?

Great News ! You can reinvent yourself right now this second !!!! Without moving somewhere new where no one knows you, unless of course you’re up for that challenge(;

P.s I recommend you get your journal out and answer all these questions in great detail. Write down every thing every memory be as descriptive as possible and don’t over think it. Then if you want to go an extra step, close your eyes and visualize it and feel how you would feel! Really feel it!  I wish you an abundance of courage and bliss in creating the new you !

With all my love,

Xo