When I was 21 years old I was the bravest girl I knew. I was so fearless, I had the mindset and belief that I can do anything. No matter what, I always found a way to accomplish my goals. I also worked in sales so I have to admit that might have contributed to my confidence. I am so proud of that girl. 8 years later I still constantly think of her, that young fearless version of myself. If I am going through something I wonder what would she would do? And if I’m feeling small for whatever reason I try to embody her. It’s funny that as my older self I’m still so inspired by her.
I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I don’t think that it’s about me living in the past because that’s not where I want to be. I am very present and love the life I have created for myself. I think it’s more like I feel motivated by that version of myself. To be my best self, to make her proud. Like my inspiration. She worked and went to school, got good grades, brought a house, hiked Runyon Canyon up and down like nothing. She had a great social life. During the summer she had the most fun in Hollywood Blvd, Downtown Los Angeles, Mexico; Cabo, Ensenada, Las Vegas. There was no stopping her.
Very heavy things happened to me within those 8 years at times I got so lost and detached from that fearless girl that it didn’t even feel like that was me. I finally decided no more and I took a step back, I took a hard look at my life and decided to take my power back. I no longer recognize myself. I knew I had to make my way back to me. I felt like that version of me would never be in that situation. Or at least she would handle it much better, with courage. So with the fearless, strong, confident, young version of myself in mind I slowly came back to myself.
That does not go to say that I haven’t done amazing things since then. I have transformed myself into someone I truly love. I have created a life for myself that I love and I’m proud of. I heavily edited my life regularly. I live a purposeful life. I have made mediation, yoga, and journaling a part of my daily routine. I am pescatarian/mostly plant based and focus on eating and using clean products. I travel the world like I always dreamt of. I created passive income for myself. I always follow my heart. I do what I love. I finally moved to a different state to experience a different way of life. I created this blog to inspire anyone that reads it. But all very much inspired by my younger self.
What I’m saying is that you must create a version of yourself you are proud of and inspired by. That you can reference when going through challenging times. If that has not been the case for you and you don’t see yourself doing this find a mentor, a person you can look up to. That you can use as your inspiration. How would they react to something? How would they carry themselves? What would they say? Would they be brave? How?
Whether you use a version of yourself or a mentor, embody them. Start acting like them, talking like them, carry yourself how they would carry themselves. Slowly you will become that version of yourself. You can decide right now who you want to be. If that seems out of reach for you, start by embodying what you want to become. Remember you are the creator of your life. You decide who you are and how your story goes. So be your best self, whatever that may mean to you.
With all the love,
Xochilt